I was with a group of women the other day and we were sharing stories about parenthood. Some of the topics that seemed to be the concern and difficulty for us as busy parents is the act of positive discipline within the household with our children. So let’s talk about it! 

There are five essential and effective forms of positive discipline. This can be used in any environment with any and all children. Home, school, practice, clubs, at grandparents houses or even when your children have friends over. The five forms of positive discipline include redirection, positive reinforcement, time-in(carving out quality moments with your children), single word reminders, and selective ignoring of objectionable behavior. Over the next couple months, I would like to talk about one form at a time. This week let’s talk about redirection. 

What is redirection and what does it mean to you? How do you redirect your children? Would you say its positive redirection or does it come out more negative? The definition defines redirection as a technique that parents or caregivers can use to help children understand what appropriate behavior is and how to manage their current behavior in a better way. It helps promote positive behavior and reduce punishment, prevent injury, and promote positive learning and exploration. What does that exactly mean within your household? 

When my oldest was two years old he loved to terrorize the book shelf, at least that is how I took it as a young parent with three other young children in the household. There was always so much to do all the time that I wouldn’t always catch him in the act and would end up cleaning it myself without his help. When I would catch him, it was usually in a moment of exhaustion and I would tell him no and clean up the books and place him with his trains instead to play with. One day we were in the living room and he goes to the book shelf and starts to tear down all the books. I watched for a second and thought to myself maybe there is something that he wants to do with the books. I went over to him and sat down and said “buddy, it looks like you are really interested in the books, would you like to sit with mommy and read a couple of your books together?” He looked at me with his big eyes and nodded yes. I said “Okay, well then let’s put all the books back onto the bookshelf and pick out two books we can read together.” He picked up one book at a time and put it back onto the bookshelf. We picked out two books and read together. He stopped tearing the books off the shelf at that point and started to bring me two books when he wanted to read together. He is eleven now and in middle school but yet will still bring me a book every once in a while to sit and read together. 

Redirection can look like a lot of different things in each different household with each different family. My children are very emotional and sensitive and that affects how I redirect them, which is usually in a calm and loving way and down at their level while I speak to them. Some children can be really hyper and may need a loving touch and more authoritative voice in a loving redirecting way. Some children have ADHD and or be on the autism spectrum and will need more compassion and patience and time within the redirection being given. Whatever works best in your household all we as parents need to remember is that our children are small humans just trying to figure out the world just like we are. The way we approach redirection and

discipline can have a lasting effect on them while they grow. One of my favorite quotes is treat others the way you want to be treated. I believe that applies to every single human in your life, especially the little humans you grew and birthed. When I do something wrong, how do I want to be talked to and redirected from doing it again? I’m sure our children feel the same way we do. We are all growing and learning daily. We learn from our kids just like they learn from us. Be kind, be love, be patient. We all deserve that. 

-Amber 

B45 

“Allow the meditation of my heart, and the words of my mouth be pleasing to You, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” 

-Psalm 19:14 

“Children do learn what they live. Then they grow up to live what they’ve learned.” -Dorothy Notte